If Some Priests Can Be Married, Why Can't Nuns Be Married?

Carmelite "Marriage" to Christ Ceremony

If some priests (e.g. Eastern Catholic priests and Anglican priest converts) can be married, why can’t nuns be married? It would seem like the Catholic Church is being unfair if priests can be married but nuns cannot be. Of course, that is not the case. There actually seems to be a misunderstanding of terms when this question is asked. A nun cannot be married for the following reasons:

1. A nun is not a priestess.

A nun is not the female equivalent of a priest. A priest offers the one eternal Sacrifice of Calvary. However, a nun does not.

So, the question asked above is implying something it should not. If priests are allowed to do something - be married before they become priests - it does not mean that nuns can do the same thing.

2. A nun, by definition, is not married to a mortal man.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a nun as “A member of a religious community of women, especially a cloistered one, living under vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.”

Nuns live in “a religious community of women” in the same household; they do not live in a religious community of men and women. Such communities, in which a married man lives among a community of women, are not practiced because they increase the likelihood of scandal.

These communities are usually “cloistered.” Cloistered means closed off from the rest of the world. Cloister comes from “Latin claustrum, clostrum 'lock, enclosed place', from claudere 'to close'” (Oxford Dictionary). This implies that a nun living within a community of women cannot leave the community to spend time with her husband. So, what is the point of having a husband if you are never going to visit him?

The vow of “chastity” is mentioned in the definition of nun. Chastity, in itself, does not mean celibacy. (The meaning of chastity depends on the vocation one lives out, e.g., chastity in the case of a married couple means remaining faithful to your spouse.) However, chastity in the case of a nun and certain male religious orders means celibacy.

3. A Nun is the female equivalent of a monk.

Monks are unmarried religious men who live alone, that is, not married. Monk comes from “Old English munuc, based on Greek monakhos 'solitary', from monos 'alone'” (Oxford Dictionary).

The etymology of nun will make it clear that that a nun is in fact the female equivalent of a monk. The word “nun” comes from a word meaning monk.

Nun is derived from the “Old English nonne, from ecclesiastical Latin nonna, feminine of nonnus 'monk'” (Oxford Dictionary).

Since nuns are the female equivalent of monk, and monks are not married, it follows that nuns are also not married.

4. However, a nun is “married.” A nun chooses to be the spiritual bride of Christ!

And though nuns by definition are not married to mortal men. They are “married” to the bridegroom, Jesus Christ, who died for them (as depicted in the picture above). They give everything to Jesus, who they love. They give Him their intellect and will. They also give Him their sexuality, in that they sacrifice it for His greater glory in “ardent expectation of his return” (CCC 1619)!

Saint Teresa of the Andes, a nun, writes about the blessing of giving herself completely to God:

"If I used to consider my vocation as above all others, now I appreciate it doubly; because I have seen and experienced for myself that the holiness of a [religious] is greater than any other holy ideal." [...] Sometimes, it seems to me that I am dreaming... I still can't convince myself that such incomparable happiness is mine. People who do not have a vocation cannot understand this, since to them there's no happiness in sacrifice; while sacrifice, done for God is the purest bliss."

Summary:

The reasons above show why nuns cannot be married: (1) nuns are not priestesses, (2) nuns by definition are not married, and (3) nuns are the female equivalent of monks.

However, it is understood that (4) nuns are actually “married!” They are not married to a mortal man but to the now immortal man, Jesus Christ, who died for them. They choose to forsake marriage on earth so they can more perfectly prepare for the heavenly marriage between “Christ and the Church” (Eph 5:32). “And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem [the Church], coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband” (Rev 21:2).

A prayer for all celibate religious:

Heavenly Father, in your wisdom you have called certain women and men to a life of special consecration so that in prayerful observance of a lifestyle of poverty, chaste celibacy and obedience, they might be witnesses to us that as St. Paul says, "our true citizenship is in heaven." Give them, Lord, the grace of joy and perseverance in their holy vocation. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen +

Contributed by: Fidel Valenzuela

Servants of the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts